


please, please (like me)

by hypersomnic



Series: art kids [7]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypersomnic/pseuds/hypersomnic
Summary: [art kids au]"what're you talking about?" he knows, but he asks anyway, almost wants confirmation on it - that something is happening, they're happening, everything's real.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair & Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough
Series: art kids [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/977451
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	please, please (like me)

He wants Zack to like him. He wants Zack to like him so badly he lays awake at night and his face burns with the embarrassment of it. Why should Zack even bother? Cloud's ruining all of his big plans, Cloud's in his way. He can't even blame Zack - Cloud wouldn't like himself either. Aerith keeps telling him that it's all okay but he can't help but worry. It was jarring: the difference in the way Zack had been so eager to talk to Cloud in the beginning, back when Aerith had first (re)introduced them compared to the quiet intensity with which Zack regards him now. Cloud can't blame him. The stress of it makes him go cold, makes the big fist in his chest clench painfully around his heart.

It's only when the couch shifts as Zack drops down onto it next to him that Cloud looks up, knocked out of his head. He hadn't heard Aerith's door close or Zack come back down the hall.

"She's asleep," Zack confirms, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand. They'd been out all night at some house party Zack had been invited to, with Aerith as his plus one, who had then bat her eyelashes and dragged Cloud along. Typical.

When Cloud glances up at him he's struck by immediate eye contact. Cloud shifts in his seat, curled up in the corner of the couch, feet tucked under himself. They exchange small, terse smiles. Cloud hadn't had a lot to drink - one beer that he'd nursed literally all night so that people wouldn't comment on his lack of a drink, and no one had noticed his grimace with each sip - but his mouth felt dry, his tongue heavy. Technically this is Cloud's apartment, but he feels like he should leave, like Zack's waiting for him to excuse himself for the night.

Cloud swallows particularly hard, and he can suddenly feel Zack's eyes on him again. He feels himself flush.

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need some water?" Zack asks, eyebrows furrowing.

Cloud nods fervently, probably overdoes it and kills the truth in his words, "I'm okay, I didn't really drink anything."

"Are you sure? You had a drink with you all night." The way Zack leans forward, elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his clasped hands, is making Cloud's stomach churn. Zack looks so annoyed with him, he can't take it.

He huffs a weak, unconvincing laugh, "Same drink."

"What?"

"It was the same drink."

"Really?" To his surprise, the laugh out of Zack sounds like genuine surprise instead of a scoff. Cloud can't look right at him - focuses on the way a long piece of dark hair curls around the square corner of his jaw - but he can hear the smile in Zack’s voice. "All night?"

Cloud nods again, feeling the heat in his face crawl up his ears. He wonders if he's visibly red. He has to be.

"Yeah," he admits with a shrug, but he can't quite meet Zack's eyes.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, and when Cloud chances a look at Zack he thinks the other is asleep, sprawled on the couch like he is with his head thrown back. Cloud squirms, sheepishly eyeing the long column of Zack's neck like he might get caught. Zack's flushed slightly, probably from the alcohol, but he doesn't move but for the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

It's only when the couch springs creak underneath Cloud as he decides to retreat to his room that Zack speaks up. Cloud nearly jumps out of his skin.

"Sorry I've been such a dick," Zack starts slowly, like he's still thinking.

Cloud doesn't know if he should sit again - if this is going to be a conversation - or if he should say anything at all. He stands there instead, shifting his weight. He can hear Zack sitting up, can feel Zack's eyes on him.

"You haven't," he finally mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. He knows he's not very convincing.

"Yeah, I have," Zack presses on, relaxing back into the couch now that Cloud's engaged with him, "It's not fair to you. It's not your fault."

Cloud almost laughs. He takes a seat instead, letting his eyebrows knit together. "What're you talking about?" He knows, but he asks anyway, almost wants confirmation on it - that something is happening, they're happening, everything's real.

"This whole thing," Zack pauses, and Cloud's surprised to see him flush, "Us and Aerith."

"Mm." When Cloud looks up he forces himself to look Zack in the eye, and isn't surprised this time when Zack meets his gaze. He sees when Zack nods, expression uncharacteristically serious, as he finally admits, "It's complicated."

Zack looks away first, with a sigh, and they sit in silence for a while after that.

Cloud assumes that Zack is lost in thought, and he's starting to get tangled in his own web of anxiety. He's not sure what he should be doing, if they should still be talking or if he should go to bed. Should he offer to get Zack a blanket and a pillow for him to crash on the couch? Would Zack go join Aerith when he felt like going to sleep? He shifts restlessly, trying to find a spot that will soothe his nerves. He ends up cross legged, a blanket in his lap and his fingers playing with the fringed edge of it. Now that Cloud's met Zack's eyes once he has a hard time not looking at him. Watching Zack be still is strange. His eyelashes are so long and dark. Cloud thinks that - for a second - Zack seems nervous, stuck.

Cloud's half asleep, dozing with his cheek pressed against the back cushions of the couch, when he hears Zack say something. He hums in acknowledgment, even though he hasn't heard a thing.

"I, uh," Zack starts again, but for once he doesn't look at Cloud when he speaks; Cloud can see his jaw clench, "I thought you were gay, when Aerith first started talking about you."

Cloud's very awake now, his head jerking up.

"Not like it was more okay for you guys to hang out just ‘cause I thought you were gay, she can hang out with whoever she wants, but I thought you were," Zack's continuing, the colour rising in his cheeks as he talks fast, like he's finally convinced himself he can let it all out, "You're into the same things as her, so I thought, maybe."

'Pretty' bounces around the inside of Cloud's head even as he realizes he's gaping stupidly at Zack.

"Well, I'm not," Cloud says lamely. He's not insulted. He doesn't know how he feels.

At least Zack is blushing, reaching back to ruffle his long hair. "I know that now."

They lapse back into silence - so intensely awkward this time that Cloud has to put all of his energy into staying still.

He can't take it anymore.

When Cloud gets up from the couch he can feel Zack watching him, but he clenches his jaw stubbornly. He doesn't need to let it bother him. If Zack has something to say, Zack can say it. If not, that's not on Cloud. He gathers his things from around the living room, and as he goes he starts to slow down. He moves carefully, taking his time.

"Goodnight," Zack says quietly from the couch.

Cloud doesn't turn to look at him until he's in the doorway of his room, and sees that Zack's already looked away.

"Zack," Cloud calls, and gets a rush he can't distinguish as anxiety or adrenaline, his voice low enough not to bother Aerith in her room but loud enough to carry down the hall. Zack perks up almost immediately. Cloud gets another rush, ice water in his veins. "I'm bi."

Zack's eyebrows knit together again in confusion, head tilting, but before he can ask, Cloud tries again, "I'm not gay. I'm bi."

"Oh."

"I like girls, but I like guys, too," Cloud wishes he could shut up, at least clap his hands over his mouth to keep all of this in. Zack knows what bisexual means. He feels stupid. He feels brave. Maybe he'll pretend to forget this in the morning, pretend he was drunker than he is (sober).

Zack's just staring at him, and Cloud can begin to feel the heat rise in his cheeks. He doesn't know what he's doing. Cloud mutters a quiet (probably inaudible) ‘goodnight’ and escapes into his room, closing the door behind him and locking it with an audible click. He strips and dumps his clothes in a pile on his desk chair, relishing the cold of his sheets when he climbs into bed and pulls his covers right up over his head. He lays there and breathes, counts his breaths.

After a few minutes he can hear Zack turning out the lights in the living room, his footsteps coming down the hall, and pausing in front of Cloud's door. Cloud stops breathing, he closes his eyes. Zack's footsteps continue after what feels like an eternity, and Cloud picks up the quiet creak of Aerith's door opening and closing. He rolls onto his belly and presses his face into his pillow, jaw clenched so hard it hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> lopunny & i finished watching a ff7 remake play-through this last week and have a lot of feelings.  
> welcome. only beta'd multiple times by myself in absolute fucking agony. sorry i still don't know how to use tenses.


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